Posted by: themoviecheese | April 6, 2011

“The Nintendo 3DS Gives Me Headaches! What do?!”

As most of you know, I recently picked up Nintendo’s new handheld console, the 3DS.

Overall, I am very happy with my purchase. The 3D effect is astounding and the technology so simple and yet typically genius of Nintendo. The thing that mostly impresses me though is the screen itself, the size and resolution is the best that the DS has to offer, and the addition of an analogue nub is long overdue. The only two things that distress me about the console is the battery life – with full settings including brightness, 3D and WiFi, the console will only stretch to a maximum of 3 hours battery life. That is a little shit, but there is a third party peripheral coming out that will allow you to extend the battery to around 5 hours. And you have to remember that 3 hour life is based solely on the 3D feature being switched on all the time, which is something you’re clearly not going to do. 3D is cool and all, but the 3DS is so much more than its titled gimmick. The second thing that disappoints me however is the launch games. There was literally only one game that I had any interest in and that was Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition. That is quite disappointing, but look at it this way: when has a console EVER had a decent launch window? The best launch game on the X-Box 360 was Perfect Dark Zero and the best launch game on the PS3 was Resistance: Fall of Man…see what I’m getting at here? Launch windows are always terrible. The worst thing about the 3DS’ release window though is that it looks like it’s going to be around the end of May before we see anything else decent get a release. But the games that ARE coming out will make it more than worth the wait. The likes of Metal Gear Solid 3Super MarioKid Icarus and a huge amount of back catalogue titles to be released on the e-store will make buying the console so much worth it. Oh, and there’s also the small matter of a little game that goes by the name of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

However, I’m not here to talk about the console itself. I’m here to talk about a specific article recently published by The Sun newspaper based on the 3DS. You can read the article here:

The article states that “thousands” of people have been prone to illness and headaches from the 3D effect of the console and have been refused refund. There are just a few points I feel it is necessary to address here:

1. The article only mentions ONE person who has supposedly suffered from this ailment.

2. Nintendo themselves have come out and said the article is ridiculous. They have said the number of phonecalls and emails in regards the returns and general complaints is in fact well bellow that of other console release windows.

3. Various retailers including HMV and GAME have also struck down the “rumour” put about by The Sun.

4. I find it INCREDIBLY hard to believe that the console is actually making people ill. This is just dickheads trying to fuck with the UK’s retailing system.

5. If there ARE anybody out there who the 3DS is generally making ill, then they are complete fucking idiots. There is an awesome switch on the side of the screen that turns the 3d OFF straight away, specifically to combat any discomfort you may feel.

6. There is a quote in the article from that goes “Being told to turn off the 3D is insulting, Without it, the gadget is a more expensive version of the previous DS. There should be a ten-day, no fuss return policy.” – that is one of the single most dumbest fucking things I’ve ever heard. And this is coming from somebody who is supposed to be a professional technology critic. What people don’t seem to realize is that the “3D” in the 3DS isn’t just about the screen, it’s about the WHOLE console. The 3DS has a built in gyroscope, which is similar to the motion-sensing technology found in the Playstation 3’s controller. This means that there will be future 3DS games that utilize some sort of motion sensing gameplay. There is also the augmented reality technology, which creates 3D graphics onto a flat surface like a table in your living room or a toilet. Simply turning the 3D off DOESN’T make the console redundant at all, there is a LOT more to it than that, and the sooner people realize this, the sooner people can start having the fun that the 3DS deserves.

7. You can’t just get a REFUND on a fucking console just because it’s made you “ill”. That’s just pathetic. If that was the case, then I suppose we can all return our Nintendo Wii’s because our shoulders are tired, or our PS3’s and 360’s because or bums are numb. Fucking idiots.


Sources: …. ….


  1. You are knob head. The 3ds gives me headaches and so do you. You are a fucking idiot whit a bad attitude and i would love to meet you to bring you down to your pathetic tiny size. You are a web warrior but in the real world i am sure you are just another coward. I bet you are sucking the cock of some Nintendo manager.

    • Clearly you are the one with the bad attitude here. Maybe you should sit down and take your uncle’s cock out of your mouth and stop fiddling with his balls. Maybe then you’d have the courtesy to be decent to people. Also, you are the coward for giving someone an extreme verbal lashing over the confines of the internet, probably from your parent’s basement. Why don’t you get the dick out of your ass, get out of your parent’s basement and get a fucking job you low-life piece of fecal matter.

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