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Yesterday, it was revealed that the British Board of Film Classification had denied Tom Six’s sequel Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) certification for release in this country.

Apparently, their reasoning for this is “The explicit presentation of the central character’s obsessive sexually violent fantasies is in breach of Classification Guidelines and poses a real, as opposed to a fanciful, risk that harm is likely to be caused to potential viewers.”

I call some serious fucking bullshit. Now, most of you know how I feel about the BBFC, it’s no secret. On one hand, they do possibly one of the hardest jobs in the entire film industry. But the question here is: do they do it right? No, they do not.

The main reason Human Centipede II has been banned is down to two scenes. Now, I don’t believe in spoiling movies over the internet (although the BBFC clearly don’t seem too bothered about doing just that), so I’ll refrain from explaining the scenes in great detail, but suffice to say one of them involves a sheet of sand paper and masturbation. Yeah, okay, that’s kinda crazy. But does it merit a full on ban on the whole movie? No it fucking doesn’t. Why, I hear you ask? Well, let’s think of some of the films that have recently passed by the BBFC for a fully uncut release on DVD:

(Warning: If you are of a nervous disposition, do NOT read any further)

1. Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom

Salo is one of the most disgusting films I have ever had the displeasure of viewing. It’s a terrible monotonous piece of satirical trash about a group of facists who round up 9 teenage boys and girls and subject them to 120 days of incredibly rough torture and sexual violence. It features full on nudity from teenagers of around 14 years old, and is purely there to shock the audience, and not in an artistic or impressive sense like August Underground or Serbian Film. It also features the teenage characters eating feces (not suggested like in  the first Human Centipede, it is shown full on). And it features a young girl being pissed on, a young boy having his penis burnt off etc etc. The fact that the BBFC simply slapped this film with an “18” and passed it fully uncut and even released it on fucking Blu-ray is a CLEAR indication of what is so fucking wrong with the BBFC.

2. A Serbian Film

Quite a few of you have probably heard of this already. It was released to UK DVD some time earlier this year. Again, fully uncut. It features young children watching porn, full on rape, constant references to the most sexually explicit acts known to man including beastiality and pedophilia, a new-born baby being raped (off screen), real fellatio and possibly real sex, a man sticks his erect penis in another man’s eye to kill him etc etc etc….Yeah, apparently all of that is perfectly fine to release uncut, but a scene of a man merely masturbating with a small sheet of sand paper is completely out of the question.

3. Caligula

Protip: The one on the right is Helen Mirren. Those are her boobs. You're welcome.

Caligula is quite possibly the most sexually explicit film (that isn’t porn) of all time. It features everything from real sexual intercourse, anal fisting, actual ejaculation, real fellatio, real cunnilingus, you name a sex act and chances are it’s in here. Not bad for a film made in 1979 and one that stars the likes of Malcolm McDowell, Peter O’Toole and Helen fucking Mirren. The film was re-released on DVD last year in a collector’s edition which housed five different versions of the film. The film was directed by Bob Guccione – possibly the most fucking insane film director of all time. It’s a really peculiar film and I remember when I first watched it I hated it…but now I do have somewhat of a slight respect for it. Basically I just think Bob Guccione is one funny motherfucker. Seriously, just check out the Triva for the film on IMDB. Hilarious.

The list goes on but you get the general idea here. Against these films that have passed completely uncut and with no problems by the BBFC, I fail to see how Human Centipede II could possibly be any worse. The first film didn’t even bother me in the slightest, in fact I spent it’s entire duration pissing myself laughing.

The BBFC have some serious problems here. I don’t condone censorship in any fashion, especially when a film is just completely banned outright. We’re supposed to be living in a country of freedom, people should be allowed to make up their own minds about what they want to see. There are a lot of British people who loved the first film and will definitely want to see it’s sequel.

The BBFC are just taking the films far too seriously. Whereas a film like Serbian Film is very gritty and based somewhat in reality, a film like Human Centipede is clearly extremely tongue-in-cheek.

Now, just today Tom Six (Human Centipede’s director/writer) has spoken out against the BBFC. Here’s what he had to say:

“Thank you BBFC for putting spoilers of my movie on your website and thank you for banning my film in this exceptional way. Apparently I made an horrific horror-film, but shouldn’t a good horror film be horrific?
My dear people it is a fucking MOVIE. It is all fictional. Not real. It is all make-belief. It is art. Give people their own choice to watch it or not. 
If people can’t handle or don’t like my movies they just don’t watch them. If people like my movies they have to be able to see it any time, anywhere, also in the UK.”

Good fucking on you Tom Six. It’s about time somebody really spoke out against the discrepancies of the BBFC. And for th record…I’ll be importing you’re movie no fucking matter what the BBFC says. Fuckers.