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Thanks again to everyone who read part one of my “Most Underrated Movies” list a few days ago.

Again, most of the films in this list you may not have seen and may not have even heard of them, but ALL of them are masterful films that should be viewed by everyone

If you didn’t read part one, you can check it out here.

So without further a do, sit back, get your wallet out and get Amazon and ebay ready for your DVD purchases…because here is part two of Tom’s Most Underrated Movies Of All Time: –

21. Equilibrium (2002) dir. Kurt Wimmer

Equilibrium is the 1998 movie that rivals The Matrix in every way. It is a sci-fi film, check. It contains lots of martial arts and gun fights, check. It’s about a lack of emotion, check. It’s incredibly stylish, check. Now, even with the shortcomings of The Matrix I will admit that it is a slightly better film than Equilibrium. But only just. Written and directed by Kurt Wimmer, Equilibrium is set in a future where the government has realized the one true cause for war: emotion. On the grounds of this evidence, they decide that human emotion must be completely outlawed. That means the destruction of any and all devices and, well everything that brings out the emotion of a human being. To combat human emotion, the government release two things: first, a drug which suppresses it; and second, a team of highly trained law enforcers known as the Gramaton Cleric. The clerics are like deadly assassins trained in the art of Gun Kata, a form of martial arts that fuses traditional kung fu with gun play. Christian Bale plays one of these Clerics, who, after missing one of his medications, starts to re-experience various human emotions. Behind the insanely cool fight sequences and stylized cinematography, there is a really beautiful film to be found here. Writer/Director Kurt Wimmer has only ever directed three movies; this one, and two other disappointing movies Ultraviolet and One Tough Bastard. The scenes of Bale rediscovering forgotten beauties are amazing, with Bale using his emotional acting ability to its full extent. But it has to be said that the main appeal to the movie is just how badass it all is. Admittedly there aren’t that many fight scenes in the film and when they do happen they are fairly short, but they are also insanely cool.

22. Nothing To Lose (1997) dir. Steve Oedekerk

Writer/Director Steve Oedekerk is a bit of a mixed bag. There are times when he makes almost comedy gold (The Nutty Professor, Bruce Almighty) and there are others when the results are questionable (Jimmy Neutron, Patch Adams). Nothing To Lose is his best film in my opinion. It stars Tim Robbins as an advertising agent who catches his wife sleeping with his boss. He storms out of his house and ends up driving around random locations in Los Angeles, eventually ending up in a very rough area where he gets car-jacked by motormouth Martin Lawrence. What starts as bitter rivalry between the two quickly turns into an unorthodox friendship and they realize that the best way for Robbins to get back at his boss is to “rob his ass”. Nothing To Lose is a hilarious film that has some incredible one liners from Lawrence. His spontaneous timing is put to perfect use here, whether he’s shit-scared (“I’m in a car with a psycho freaky Jason hack-killer motherfucker!”), or angry (“Now back the fuck up before I kick you in your bitch-ass chin.”), he really is fucking hilarious and on full form. The dynamic between Robbins and Lawrence is the meat of the film. This unlikely duo create an excellent adventure on screen. Sure, by the end of the film it does get a bit too cheesy with all loose ends nicely tied up, but that’s the kind of film this is…it’s a hilarious side-splitter that also has the ability to occasionally make you go “Aaawww”.

23. Jackie Brown (1997) dir. Quentin Tarantino

Simply put: Quentin Tarantino’s best script. Jackie Brown might not have the edge of Reservoir Dogs or the insanely cool factor of Pulp Fiction, but it drifts on by deliciously, with a mature and masterly sense of poise and timing. Here is Tarantino doing his thing, unhurried and unassured, rolling out a tight, knowing crime caper by focusing on the characters and letting the story do it’s own work. Also, it’s the performances that push it from “good” to “great”: scuzzy Robert DeNiro, sinister pimp Samuel L Jackson, stand up parole guy Robert Forster, and of course there’s the smart, still beautiful blaxploitation goddess Pam Grier – all given room by Tarantino’s smooth, 70s-shaped style to make their understated presences felt. If the director’s subsequent slide into pastiche exploitation is a response to Jackie Brown’s so-so reception, then those short-sighted reviewers have derailed an incredible talent and only have themselves to blame when they proclaim things like “Death Proof is too boring” or “Kill Bill is too over the top”.

24. The Mist (2007) dir. Frank Darabont

If you don’t know who Frank Darabont is; he’s the guy who wrote and directed two of the greatest novel-to-film adaptions of all time: The Green Mile and, of course, The Shawshank Redemption. Both of those films were based off Stephen King novels (well, Shawshank was a short story), his latest film The Mist is also based off a Stephen King novel, but this time it’s the familiar King territory of horror. But despite the drastic shift in genre, the typical Darabont conventions that make him such a wonderous writer/director are still present: the deep religious undertones, inner turmoil, one team of character against another, the family center piece. It’s a brilliant film that would of been just as good even without all the creatures and beasties. It tells the story of a huge storm that unleashes a gang of weird creatures on a small town, along with a misty fog. A group of people hold up in a small supermarket to try and escape from the mist. Among them are protective father Tom Jane, a crazed Christian nutbag, an ignorant neighbour, a few hillbillies. Yeah, they’re all here; stereotypical horror characters. But don’t worry, the excellent dialogue and acting stops it from being too cliché. One of the best things about the film is Marcia Gay Harden as the crazy born again Christian. She’s the closest thing the movie has to a human villain and she’s fucking brilliant. By the half way point of the movie you really want her to die in the most horrible way possible, and there in lies the success in her performance. And then there’s the creatures themselves, weird and wonderful Guilermo Del Toro-style CGI creations fill the screen in some truely thrilling action sequences. The best is a giant sky-scraper size goliath that towers over the main characters in the final moments of the film. The Mist is a stern, efficient and unconventional horror film. The key is in the restraint – so little information is fed to the audience for so long that the film achieves a towering sense of dread and hopelessness. By the time the creatures do arrive en masse, the effect is almost overpowering. And then there’s THAT ending…disciplined and super-bleak – almost cruel, but just the right side of “weekend-ruining”. Most importantly though, it’s an ending that’s more interested in provoking than soothing. Cheap but gloriously nasty.

25. Dark City (1998) dir. Alex Proyas

One of my favorite sci-fi films of all time. It’s an ingenious original story that is just as thought provoking as it is exciting. John Murdoch (Rufus Sewell) awakens in a hotel room with no memory and wanted by the police for a series of brutal murders. Whilst trying to piece together his mysterious past in a world that seemingly has no sun, he comes across a man named Dr Schreber (Kiefer Sutherland), a group of sinister villains known as The Strangers, and a wife he never knew he had. Dark City is the kind of film that is very difficult to talk about if you (the reader) haven’t seen it. There’s so much I want to discuss but there’s also so much that I don’t want to give away on the off chance that you will watch it for the first time. The amount of twists and turns in the film are astounding. Alex Proyas brings the same gothic directorial style that he established in The Crow, emphasizing the kind of director that the likes of Tim Burton wishes they were. But as I said, there’s not really much I can talk about without giving away too much. You really do have to just watch the film yourself. So yeah, if there’s any film on this list that you absolutely must buy/download, make it Dark City.

26. Speed Racer (2008) dir. The Wachowski Siblings

If you’re wondering why I’ve called them “Siblings” and not “Brothers”, it’s because Larry Wachowski has recently changed his name to “Lana” and had a full sex change. Yeah, no shit. Anyway, moving on. Adapted from the Japanese animé of the same name, it follows Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) a young race car driver with “racing in his blood”, who joins a deadly race known as The Crucible. Speed quickly uncovers corruption within the race and teams up with martial arts experts Racer X (Lost’s Matthew Fox) and Taejo Togokahn (Ninja Assassin’s Rain) to bring down an evil corporation. Speed Racer was released two years ago to terrible box office results. People were mostly just put off by the psychedelic CGI effects. The whole film is done via blue-screen effects, ala Sin City. It wasn’t until the film came out on Blu-ray that the film got its true chance to shine. People were wowed by the special effects this time, with the big vibrant colors given a much bigger emphasis in high definition. They also saw that the movie was much more than just a “kid’s action movie”. It contains some thrillingly inventive action sequences, a deep story about family and loyalty, and (in true Wachowski style) some fantastically choreographed martial arts sequences courtesy of Matthew Fox (seriously, he kicks ass in this) and Korean star Rain.

27. Silent Hill (2006) dir. Christophe Gans

Video game adaptions get a bad rep. Admittedly, most of them are full of horse shit, but some of them do at least have a little guilty entertainment in them. Stuff like Mortal Kombat are moderately entertaining for what they are trying to achieve. Christophe Gans’ adaption of the psychological horror game Silent Hill I regard as the best video game adaption of all time. Many critics unfairly panned it for being “like watching someone play the game for 2 hours”. There is a lot more to the story than that. Like the video game it focuses on family and what we’ll do to save our loved ones. The best thing about the movie though are the creature/monster designs. There are some awesome monsters like the weird little children things, the demon nurses, and of course Pyramid Head himself; but the best one has to be the twisted bald dude that has been held captive in the toilet (in the picture). The only thing that is terrible about the movie is the performance from Sean Bean, which comes as a bit of a shock, as Sean Bean usually kicks ten thousand flavors of pure ass. The problem is that for some stupid reason he speaks with a horrible American accent. It’s terribly distracting as his Sheffield roots keep coming through the odd syllable.

28. Road To Perdition (2002) dir. Sam Mendes

Easily my favorite Tom Hanks movie. It’s such a departure for the actor as well. He’s such a badass in this movie. Hanks plays Mike Sullivan, a mafia hitman who’s son witnesses one of his kills. The mafia send out another hitman (Daniel Craig) to kill Hanks’ wife and other child, and Hanks quickly goes on the run with his surviving son, all the while he is being tracked by a deadly assassin played by Jude Law. Road To Perdition is a gangster film that takes us back to the days of The Godfather and Goodfellows. And there in lies its only real flaw; Road To Perdition is just a little too familiar. Whilst watching it you get the exact same feeling watching such films as Shawshank Redemption and Miller’s Crossing. Everything in the film feels like something you’ve seen before, but that doesn’t stop the emotion being true or the odd spout of action being thrilling. It’s a beautifully shot movie with a stunning score by Thomas Newman (American Beauty, The Green Mile). The noir-style cinematography is stunning. The whole film, however, is held firmly together by its simply phenomenal performances. I’ve never been a fan of Tom Hanks, but here he is an absolute talent. A very tragic character who has never realized how to hold his family dear until they are taken away from him. Likewise the performances by Paul Newman and Jude Law are equally as enthralling. Especially Jude Law, he is fucking shit scary in this movie. Just a moving force of weird emotions and sheer brutality.

29. The Karate Kid (1984) dir. John G. Avildsen

Director of the original Rocky John G. Avildsen took his favorite “sport drama” genre into karate territory with this cult classic. Actually, it’s more than a cult classic to me. It is my ultimate childhood movie. I wouldn’t say it’s a “kids film” (after all, the uncut version remains a “15” to this day). Regardless, it is a charming, brilliant little movie about personal achievement. Pat Noriyuki Morita is simply astounding as the wise old Mr Miyagi who teaches teenager Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) the ways of Okinawan karate. What always astounds me about the Karate Kid films is that Pat Morita had absolutely no martial arts background prior to filming, and yet he does all of his own stunts/fights throughout all of the films. The entire cast is superb; Macchio may look like a bit of a weed, but he has this nice innocence about him that makes the role a beautiful contradiction. And then there’s 80s veteran Martin Kove as the sinister villain Sensei Kreese. A stern, taciturn and at times scary performance, he is very comic book. The Karate Kid is a beautiful movie that will always have a place in my heart as one of the most uplifting films of all time.

30. Ronin (1998) dir. John Frankenheimer

One of the best action movies of the 90s, late director John Frankenheimer directs with his usual breakneck style. Ronin tells the story of a crack team of mercenaries who are hired to steal a briefcase from the Russian mafia. Sounds simple? Well it’s not. Each character is entirely unique and it is this individual uniqueness that elevates Ronin above other similar action movies. We have a disgruntled ex-CIA agent (Robert De Niro), a French secret agent (the brilliant Jean Reno) who knows how to get just about anything you want, a gung-ho SAS dropout (Sean Bean), an ex-KGB spy (Stellan Starsgard) who knows about gadgets, and then there’s a young Irish woman (Natasha McElhone) who only answers to Seamus O’Rourke (Jonathan Price) an IRA boss who is in quite a bit of trouble. The character roster is pretty epic, as is the way this diverse group of people works together. There are loads of action films made today that are very inspired by Ronin’s intensity. The obvious being the Bourne movies. There is a car chase in The Bourne Supremacy that tries desperately to match Ronin’s but is just far too flashy.

31. Antz (1998) dir. Eric Darnell & Tim Johnson

Outside of Pixar, I’m not a huge fan of the CGI animation genre. I find the Shrek films totally overrated and tiresome for instance. One CGI film I absolutely love however is Antz. It’s a brilliantly original animated film that staples lead Woody Allen’s signature docu-style comedy into what is essentially a kid’s film. Its awesomeness, however, owes itself to the excellent cast ensemble. We have Allen, along with Sharon Stone, Sylvester Stallone, Gene Hackman, Jennifer Lopez, Danny Glover, Dan Ackroyd and Christopher Walken. It’s one fucking epic cast. With a brilliant script from the writers of American Pie and About A Boy, Antz is one of the most underrated animated movies of all time. It’s the kind of movie that is so easily and unfairly driven down to the single moral dilema of “Think for yourself for once in your life!” but the fantastic cast do more than an excellent job holding it together.

32. Spartan (2004) dir. David Mamet

Spartan is a somewhat “under the radar” thriller that not that many people have seen but probably should. For me it’s a match made in heaven, pairing one of my favorite actors (Val Kilmer) with one of my favorite writers/directors (David Mamet). As far as attention to detail goes, you really can not beat Mamet. No matter what subject he tackles, he does it with perfection. The best example of his genius is obviously his special forces series The Unit, where he created a saga about a single American special forces unit and their families in a constant struggle to protect the world and keep their identity secret. It’s a brilliantly realistic show that fuses large amounts of action with just as much family drama and politics. In Spartan however, he tackles the subject of kidnap and government cover-ups. Val Kilmer plays Scott, a man who is hired to investigate the kidnapping of a US Government official’s daughter. The prime suspect is the girl’s ex-boyfriend, but Scott quickly realizes that all is not as it seems. Spartan falls under the category of a “thinking man’s action movie”, it’s not the kind of film that you can just whack on the DVD player on a Sunday afternoon. You have to SIT down and concentrate, but you are rewarded by the end of it. What starts as a slow-burning yet tense thriller soon escalates into a fully blown shootout.

33. Darkman (1990) dir. Sam Raimi

After his infamous “video nasty” Evil Dead, and before he was elevated to superstardom with his Spider-man trilogy, Sam Raimi made gothic superhero horror flick Darkman. It stars Liam Neeson as Dr Payton, a scientist who has discovered a way to produce synthetic skin. When a group of gangsters led by Durant (Larry Drake) torture and murder Payton, he is left with hideous burns and scars all over his body. However, he is rescued by a hospital, and soon after the accident, he realizes that many parts of his body (including his strength) have been improved, along with the ability to feel no pain what so ever. Also, thanks to his synthetic skin research, he is able to assume the identity of anybody he comes into contact with. He uses these skills to seek revenge on those who disfigured him. Originally, Raimi wanted to use his usual partner in crime Bruce Campbell, but the studio stupidly didn’t think he could handle such a role. Despite this, Neeson is pitch-perfect for the role. He mirrors Campbell’s everyman hero and likable insanity, whilst bringing his towering physical prowess to the mix. The film itself is Raimi at his best. Quirky horror, brutal yet comic violence, with scene of pure hilarity (“Take the fucking elephant!”). It’s like a comedy counterpart to Alex Proyas’ The Crow, with just as much gothic undertones and culminating in not one, but two battles – one on a helicopter, and the other atop a huge construction site.

34. Gridlock’d (1997) dir. Vondie Curtis-Hall

Despite how you feel about rap music, not one person on the planet can dispute the sheer genius of Tupac Shakur. He was an incredibly intelligent poet who was taken from this world far too soon. He was also, however, a very damn good actor. He made quite a few films during his short career, but his best is definitely Gridlock’d. He stars along side Tim Roth as two junkies who’s friend has just died from an overdose. The both of them decide to kick their drugs habit and enroll in a government detox program. Brilliantly written, the whole film is about the decadence of the junkie world. Rhythm is the key here, as the whole time you feel you’re engrossed in one massive chase sequence. The film is completely reliant however on it’s central performances; Tim Roth plays his role as a sort of James Cagney on an acid trip, whereas Shakur is a calm and somewhat collected junkie. The film is also intelligent enough to know that it can’t play too much on the junkie community, that it has to refrain from being one-sided. There’s a brilliant scene in the film where one of the health workers says “We have rules. You expect the whole world to just stop because you’ve decided to kick. Like we’ve all been waiting for this day for 10 years!”

35. The Exorcist III (1990) dir. William Peter Blatty

The third Exorcist movie is one of the most criminally overlooked movie of all time. People see it as just another pap sequel. To be fair, they can hardly be blamed. The second film, Exorcist II: The Heretic is a truly abysmal piece of work. Exorcist III however, is one of the scariest horror movies ever made. And that is an absolute fact. Every single person I have shown this film to have at first been horribly reluctant, but once they’ve watched it, they agree. It is fucking shit scary. This is the movie that the BBFC should have cautioned, not the 1973 original. George C Scott plays police lieutenant Kinderman, who is mourning the death of his friend Father Damien Karras (yes, from the first film). He is also investigating a series of murders. What’s troubling about these murders isn’t the fact that most them feature decapitations, torture and desecration of religious icons…it’s the fact that they mirror the murders of a killer thought to have been dead for 15 years. The praise in Exorcist III comes from its direction. William Peter Blatty (writer of the original Exorcist novel and the original film’s screenwriter) directs each scene with expert precision, building up the atmosphere to uncontrollable heights. The film also contains some of the best executed jump-scares in cinema history, coupled with some truly unnerving imagery that proves you don’t need an overload of CGI to bring the scares.

36. Pitch Black (2000) dir. David Twohy

Vin Diesel’s breakthrough film is the perfect example of science fiction being put across as a pure story telling medium. It tells the story of a small space vessel that crash lands on a strange sun-scorched planet. Among the survivors is bounty hunter Johns (Cole Hauser), who is transporting a dangerous criminal by the name of Riddick (Vin Diesel). The survivors soon find themselves hunted by the dangerous creatures who only come out at night in the shadows (which happens every 22 years). However, the survivors also find that their best hope for survival actually lies in the criminal Riddick, you see he has had his eyes surgically polished to allow him to see clearly in the dark – now how’s that for a fucking plot? Pitch Black remains both Vin Diesel’s best film and his best performance. The entire thing moves at a totally breakneck pace, and Diesel’s gravelly attitude and natural ability to play a fucking awesome anti-hero shines through. Twohy’s direction is classic sci-fi, taking us back to the days of Ridley Scott’s original Alien. The rest of the cast is also brilliant, Cole Hauser is an incredibly underrated actor who doesn’t get enough work. And the actions scene are brilliant. Tense, thrilling, and tremendously atmospheric.

37. Red Belt (2008) dir. David Mamet

As you can see, I’m quite the David Mamet fan. Another Mamet film and this time he tackles the subject of Mixed Martial Arts tournaments and greedy, corrupt corporations. Awesome British actor Chiwetel Ejiofor (you may remember him as the badguy from Joss Whedon’s Serenity) plays Mike Terry, a jujitsu instructor who is struggling to make ends meet. Late one night, Mike rescues a movie actor in a fistfight in a bar. In return, the actor offers Mike a job on his new film as a fight coordinator. But then, the shady people involved with the actor steal Mike’s “fighting handicap” idea, and in order to win back both this and his self respect he is forced to enter the ring in an organized Mixed Martial Arts tournament. As I said before, no matter what subject Mamet tackles he does so with brilliant care. He had studied Brazilian jujitsu for 6 years prior to making this movie. In fact, during filming he actually engaged Ejiofor in “friendly combat” and kicked Ejiofor’s ass. Not bad for a 63 year old. Mamet is badass. And Red Belt is one badass movie. It’s not a big sparkly martial arts extravaganza though. It’s a very grounded movie that is more “sports drama” than “kung fu action”. Ejiofor is brilliant as the lead, evoking a real passion for martial arts in his many epic lines (example: “The hands are not the issue, the fight is the issue. The battle is the issue. He who imposes the terms of the battle will impose the terms of the peace”). That’s not to say that the film is without some epic fight scenes though. Choreographed by the likes of the legendary Dan Inosanto and UFC Champion Randy Couture, the film’s fight scene – while short- are incredibly grounded and realistic. There’s no flashy spin kicks or stylish choreography, just hard hitting quick takedowns and furious grapples. Absolutely any martial arts enthusiast needs to check this movie out. It’s the Karate Kid for the 21st Century.

38. Frequency (2000) dir. Gregory Hoblit

ADon’t you just love it when you switch on the TV to find a movie you’ve never even heard of that ends up being totally immense? That’s exactly what happened with me and Frequency. It tells the story of a freak radio frequency that allows a New York City firefighter (Dennis Quaid) to communicate with his son (Jim Caveizel) 30 years into the future. The son uses this ability to warn his father of his impending death in a blazing fire, and manages to save his life. This is drastic consequences though and it triggers a series of other tragic events, including the murder of his mother. The father and son must now work together – 30 years apart – to find the killer before he can strike so they can change history. Frequency is a brilliantly tense movie. It’s the kind of film where there is always something happening. Quaid and Caveizel are brilliant in the two lead roles. The amount of twists keep the plot suitably engaging, and it is competently written. Again, Frequency was a movie I stumbled upon years ago completely by accident.

And that’s about it for now. I will probably think of more later and will compose another list.

Again, if you’re a movie lover and there are any movies in this list (or the “part one” list) that you haven’t seen then you should definitely check them out. If you’re sat at your laptop/PC bored and want a movie to watch, just crack open your bitTorrent client and download these badboys.

As always, feel free to leave any comments below whether you agree/disagree with anything in this list…

 

The other day I posted a “Top 10 Overrated Movies” list. So I’ve now decided to do the opposite with a list of underrated movies. These are great movies that deserve a lot more attention than they get. There will be some movies that you won’t have seen for years, some that you won’t have ever seen, and likely a lot that you won’t have even heard of. But regardless, they’re all awesome and should be viewed by every man and woman on the planet.

Bare in mind that – due to the sheer size of it – I am releasing this list in TWO parts. This is the FIRST part, the second will be coming in a few days.

Also bare in mind that (unlike the last list) this list is not in any kind of order. I was originally going to put it in order, but each film is equally badass in their own right so I found it impossible.

So get a fresh amazon.com page ready, or get your torrent client ready…because here is a hefty list of movies that you have to see before you die…

1. Scream (1996) dir. Wes Craven

After a slur of exploitation movies (The Hills Have Eyes, Last House On The Left) and brilliant but still slightly trashy horror movies (Nightmare on Elm Street, Vampire In Brooklyn), Wes Craven’s mainstream career finally went full circle with his excellent genre masher Scream. The film is more than just a basic slasher, it’s a mind melting mix of gore-horror, black comedy and genius levels of satire. But the real genius of the movie is behind writer Kevin Williamson for successfully blending together a tense and complex story with brilliant teenage horror stereotypes. The characters are so fantastically written that when it comes to their inevitable death scenes you find yourself screaming (no pun intended) at the screen for them to survive. It’s genius is also in the way that it successfully breaks the fourth wall of cinema: the killer is a clear horror film aficionado who constantly quizzes his victims on classic horror questions. There’s also Jamie Kennedy’s fantastically acted and written character of Randy; the enigmatic movie “geek” who thinks the events of the film are mirrored in classic horror clichés, and so goes out to warn his friends of things they should be wary of like never saying “I’ll be right back”. The film went on to spawn an equally as brilliant sequel in Scream 2, which further broke the fourth wall by introducing a film-within-the-film called Stab. There was then a second sequel Scream 3 which didn’t do so well both critically and financially. It probably had something to do with the lack of Kevin Williamson; he didn’t write the film this time and only served as producer, whereas the screenplay practice went to Ehren Kruger. Thankfully, Williamson is back as writer for the fourth installment Scream 4 out this Spring.

2. The Goonies (1985) dir. Richard Donner

Quite simply my favorite kid’s film of all time. It’s an absolute cult classic that so many people have forgotten about, and that a lot of today’s teen generation haven’t even seen. Trust me, if you’re 10-18…you need to see this movie. I’m not saying anybody over 18 won’t enjoy it, quite the contrary. What I am saying is that I genuinely feel sorry for any under-18s who haven’t seen The Goonies. Full of excellent quotable one-liners, and some brilliant characters, it’s a tale of friendship, love and family set to the backdrop of a high octane swashbuckling adventure. The best characters in the film (Sloth, Chunk, Mama, Mouth) are some of the best and most influential characters ever to be written into a kids movie. The scene where Mouth (Corey Feldman) tricks the Italian house maid in to thinking his friend’s family are murderers and drug dealers is just amazing. Especially since it’s essentially a kids movie. In fact, the movie is indeed incredibly dark, so much so that upon the film’s DVD re-release, it was re-certificated to a “12” rating just so it could pass uncut. You’d be very hard pressed to see a completely uncut version of The Goonies on national TV.

3. Hook (1991) dir. Steven Spielberg

Another kids movie here. This time from the maestro himself Steven Spielberg. It’s the story of an adult Peter Pan (Robin Williams) who has completely forgotten his former life, and now lives in the real world with a wife and two kids. He now leads a boring life as a lawyer and is also a questionable father. Hook is one of those films thats unfairly criticized as being just an entertaining brainless kids movie, but there is far more to it than that. The whole film is about rediscovering your childhood innocence. It’s about someone who has completely forgotten who he used to be rediscovering himself. Robin Williams is the most unlikely of action heroes ever, but he’s brilliant in the film. The transformation into the real Peter Pan (albeit an adult version) is awesome. Sure, Williams looked a little dodgy in those green tights, but the movie is catered to kids, and kids don’t notice how ridiculous pants look. Hell, look at David Bowie in Labyrinth, do you know any kids who screamed “Look at his crotch!”? The sheer excitement I felt as a kid watching the final swashbuckling, sword fighting extravaganza was epic. I was a huge fan of the original Peter Pan animated Disney movie as a kid, and for me Hook was the perfect sequel. But let’s be honest…it’s trump card was Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook. Again, a very unlikely casting choice, but one that worked so well; especially in the interaction with his co star Bob Hoskins as Smee.

4. 12 Monkeys (1995) dir. Terry Gilliam

It sounds so fucked up to utter 12 Monkeys and Monty Python in the same sentence. But the fact is that both share the same director. Inspired by the French short film La Jetée (check it out here), visionary director Terry Gilliam brought David and Janet Peoples’ moody script to the screen. It stars Bruce Willis in a post-apocalyptic future where most of mankind has been wiped out by an unknown virus. The government has decided to start sending people (convicted felons actually) up to the top levels (ground floor) to find out what actually happened. When this fails, they decide to send one of the convicts (Willis) back in time to before the virus hit to attempt to find its source. Along the way he meets psychiatrist Madaleine Stowe, and madman Brad Pitt, the insane son of a virus expert. Seriously, just look at that plot. Brilliant. The thing I love about 12 Monkeys is that it’s not your average run-of-the-mill apocalyptic movie, ala I Am Legend where there is loads more style than there is substance. In fact, there’s no fucking style at all. It’s an incredibly bleak and depressing movie. Even when Bruce goes back in time to before the virus had hit, he’s circling the worst parts of Philadelphia and it does not look pretty. As well as Gilliam’s directing being suitably mesmerizing, the performances are just wacky as shit. Willis seems like he’s constantly on edge, you get the feeling he could kill everyone any second. Pitt on the other hand is the true meat of the story. This is the perfect kind of role for him; a fucking crazy nutjob at the edge of his mind, ready to explode at any second.

5. Moon (2009) dir. Duncan Jones

If anybody out there missed Moon in 2009, I genuinely feel sorry for you. Truth be told, I didn’t see the film until it was released on DVD. I can only imagine what a cinema experience must have been like. It is without a shadow of a doubt one of the most beautiful visual films I’ve ever seen. It’s the perfect example of a film balancing just as much substance as it does style. Featuring an astounding central performance from Sam Rockwell (from Iron Man 2), it tells the story of an astronaut who has been sent to the moon to dig for a resource that will help diminish the Earth’s power problems, whilst there he has an encounter that reveals some incredibly shocking revelations. Moon is also the perfect example of why the Oscars/Golden Globes/BAFTAS are a load of fucking bollocks. It was easily one of the best movies of 2009 and yet didn’t receive a single nomination (well, admittedly it did win “best british newcomer” at the BAFTAs…big wow). The amount of twists in the films story would make M Night Shyamalan jump off a bridge. But it’s Sam Rockwell that really deserves a mention here. His performance is my single favorite performance in 2009. And from a year that featured Jeremy Remmer, Morgan Freeman, Colin Firth and Jeff Bridges in some awesome roles, that is saying a lot.

6. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) dir. George Armitage

I know, I know. The way I bang on about this movie you’d think I directed it. But the fact is that Grosse Pointe Blank is a fantastic movie, and hardly anybody has seen or even heard of it. John Cusack plays Martin Blank, a deadly professional hitman who is beginning to question whether he likes his job anymore. When he is invited to his 10 year high school reunion, he instantly snubs it. He then realizes that his latest job in also in his own town, so he decides to attend his reunion and take care of his next target at the same time. However, he is followed by two rival hitmen (Dan Ackroyd & Benny Urquidez) and two NSA agents…all of which want Blank dead. Grosse Pointe Blank is my second favorite movie of all time. It’s a brilliant blend of side splitting comedy, awesome 80s music, fantastic acting, incredibly witty dialogue, and some surprisingly blistering action sequences. John Cusack is the most unlikely actor to envision in an action role, but in truth he is actually a black belt and a very accomplished kickboxer. In this movie, he really gets the chance to flex as much action as he does his trademark everyman witty acting style. The standout sequence is of course the hallway fight scene around half way through the film where Cusack takes on his kickboxing trainer Benny “The Jet” Urquidez in an incredibly effective hand to hand fight sequence. But despite the brilliant action and dialogue, the film is also very much about the 80s. It’s set in the 90s but most of the main characters grew up in the 80s, and so the tone (especially the music) is very much influenced on the 80s. It’s a big reminder of everything we loved in the 80s. If you’re a fan of that decade, or just a fan of hilarious comedy, then you seriously need to check this movie out.

7. Unbreakable (2000) dir. M Night Shyamalan

M Night Shyamalan has led a very mixed career. His breakthrough film The Sixth Sense made it into my “Top Overrated Movies” list, while that film is good, it’s pretty much a novelty. Unbreakable is without a shadow of a doubt his best film. But not only is it his best film, it’s an amazing film in every aspect. It’s such a shame that every film he’s made after has been serious dog shite. Signs had one of the worst ending ever committed to film. The Village showed promise to begin with but quickly turned into a snorefest. Lady in the Water again was just terribly boring. And, well, we all remember my review of The Happening (or as I like to call it; Attack of the Killer Leaves). Back to Unbreakable though, it is a stunning achievement. The idea of placing a stereotypical comic book story into a real world environment with real world people really did it for me. It’s a genius story that is at the same time so simple. This is the perfect kind of story for Shyamalan’s visual style, something that is stapled in the paranormal and yet feels so incredibly real. The opening scene (Samuel L Jackson’s character’s birth) ranks among one of my favorite openings ever. The best thing about Unbreakable is that, unlike a lot of Shyamalan’s films it isn’t completely reliant on its twist ending. Yes, it does have one, but it isn’t played out as a novelty like in Sixth Sense. It’s a subtle twist that just makes you go “Oh shit…hey, that’s cool” rather than feel like a cheap shock.

8. Dogma (1999) dir. Kevin Smith

Good lord, was Dogma really almost 12 fucking years ago?! Christ, that makes me feel old. Anyway, Kevin Smith, one of the most controversial writers/directors working today presents his idea of religion. Kevin Smith is the perfect example of a film maker that people either love or hate. Personally I’m a huge fan. Clerks does rank among some of my favorite comedies, and I love his whole style. The thing about Kevin Smith is that he’s verging on genius when it comes to his writing, his directing however leaves much to be desired a lot of the time. There are some exceptions however; Zack & Miri Make A Porno contains some excellently directed sequences. As far as Dogma goes, its probably Smith’s most directed movie. There is action (something Smith has admitted time and time again to hating), obvious comedy (of the dick and fart jokes variety), and Smith’s trademark pop culture dialogue. Dogma tells the story of an atheist woman (Linda Fiorentino) who discovers she is the only one who can stop a couple of fallen angels (Ben Affleck & Matt Damon) from entering a holy church and proving God wrong, thus ending and negating all exsistence. It unfairly cause quite a stir among various religious communities upon its release. Dogma isn’t blasphemous at all. Smith himself is a Catholic for crying out loud. What it is, is a brilliant satire on the religious community, showing us the ups and downs of religious life without ever actually bashing it. There is a beautiful line in the film when Salma Hayek’s character says “It doesn’t matter what you have faith in, just as long as you HAVE faith. You’re heart’s in the right place, but your brain’s gotta WAKE UP.”

9. Happiness (1998) dir. Todd Solondz

WARNING: IF YOU ARE OF A NERVOUS DISPOSITION, DO NOT READ THIS PARAGRAPH.

Forget August Underground, and forget A Serbian Film…Todd Solondz’s Happiness is easily the most disturbing film ever made. Happiness is a comedy – yes, comedy – about a small suburban family, each struggling with their sexual identity. One of the members is Bill Maplewood (played effortlessly by Dylan Baker), a psychiatrist and loving husband/father. The only problem is that Bill is also a secret pedophile who has an obsession with his 11 year old son’s best friend, fantasizes about committing mass murder, and frequently masturbates to teen magazines. Yes…that is the plot. Now before you get put off by the seemingly repulsive story, you seriously have to give the movie a chance. Because it is at times fucking hilarious. The pedophile is just one small story in a film with many branching storylines. One of them involves an overweight woman who has had an unexpected curse placed on her. It’s a mad, mad film that features some of the best performances your ever likely to see. Main props HAS to go to the simply amazing Dylan Baker as the pedophile father. In a stand out scene, Baker is forced to confess to his 11 year old son of his sexual obsession with children. It’s an incredibly hard scene to watch as this grown man breaks down in front of his own son, you can see the sheer horror as the son’s pride in his father completely diminishes. The kicker is when the son asks his own father “Would you fuck me?”, to which his father replies “No…I’d jerk off instead”…..Now that is fucking disturbing.

10. The Last of the Mohicans (1992) dir. Michael Mann

Now you may think this is a little silly. After all, I can honestly say that I don’t know one person who dislikes The Last of the Mohicans. But the reason it’s made this list is simple: it didn’t win a single Academy Award. Well not any of the main ones anyway. Admittedly it won Best Sound. Wow. Also to be fair, 1992 also saw the release of Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven, a much better film than Mohicans. But my gripe is with the fact that it didn’t even receive a single nomination for any of the major categories. Now I can let Best Picture, Best Director and even Best Actor go…but I can not for the life of me forgive the fact that The Last of the Mohicans didn’t receive a nomination for Best Cinematography. It’s an absolute fucking disgrace. Dante Spinotti is an incredibly talented DoP who’s credits include LA Confidential and Heat; so basically some of the best action movies ever made. Last of the Mohicans is without a shadow of a doubt his best work. It’s a swooping adventure love story about a young American man (Daniel Day Lewis in one of the most heroic screen presences ever) who is raised by a dwindling native tribe known as the Mohicans. Together with his adopted father Chunguchkook, and brother Uncas, they rescue the two daughters of a British colonel – one of which falls in love with the American-Mohican – from a band of brutal natives known as the Hurons. The Last of the Mohicans is one of the most heroic adventures ever made, with one hell of a swooping main score. In fact, that’s another point…the film didn’t even receive a fucking nomination for Best Score. Instead, loosing out to Disney’s Aladdin and fucking Basic Instinct! Seriously, what the fuck are wrong with the Oscars?!!

11. Menace 2 Society (1993) dir. The Hughes Brothers

During the 90s, the genre of “growing up in the ‘hood” movies were a dime a dozen. Rapping sensation Tupac Shakur had hit the acting scene and surprised everyone by actually being an amazing actor, and thus most of these movies cam from the likes of him and other rappers-turned-actors like Ice Cube. But the real daddy of the genre is Menace 2 Society, a real powerhouse of a movie that exists for one sole purpose: to tell the truth. It’s not a movie that’s going to be clothed up in rap music clichés and a stylish MTV filmic style. It’s a real movie about a real American subject: the hard African American life of South Central Los Angeles. Featuring a fantastic central performance from Tyrin Turner and an awesome cameo from Samuel L Jackson, the movie is so realistic and hard hitting that at times it feels more like a documentary. The real trump card of the movie though lies in the performance of Larenz Tate as twitchy “homeboy” O-Dog. Like an African American version of Scarface, it’s a very unpredictable performance and character. A stand out scene is when a crackhead comes up to O-Dog asking for money, O-Dog refuses and the crackhead hilariously offers him a cheeseburger, to which O-Dog still refuses. The crackhead then says “Come on man…I’ll suck ya dick!”, to which O-Dog yells “Motherfucker!”, pulls out his pistol and shoots the crackhead dead. He then picks up the cheeseburger and sayd to his mates “Yo, anybody want a cheeseburger?”. It’s moments like this that really spell the mood of the entire movie.

12. Chasing Amy (1997) dir. Kevin Smith

Like I said earlier, there are a lot of Kevin Smith haters out there. To these haters out there who deny Smith’s talents as a writer, I point them in the direction of this movie. Chasing Amy tells the story of comic book artist Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) who becomes infatuated with a girl called Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams). He starts to get closer to her, but his hopes are crushed when he finds out she is a lesbian. However, the both of them do hold a mutual connection and a very unstable yet beautiful relationship is formed. Chasing Amy is one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. Like Smith’s Clerks everything feels very real. It’s a diverse from the slapstick comedy of Mallrats and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back that he has become so famous for now. The passion in Smith’s script pours through each line of dialogue like he is reliving a childhood memory. Well, actually he kind of is. The movie is based on Smith’s real life relationship with the main actress Joey Lauren Adams. Like I said before, it’s a beautiful movie with some real passion, definitely Smith’s best script. The scene in the rain where Holden and Alyssa first kiss is also an amazing piece of directing, it’s the prime example of all the people who judge Smith’s directing abilities just talking shit.

13. True Romance (1993) dir. Tony Scott

Quentin Tarantino sold the script for True Romance for an estimated $50,000. He sold it because he had more interest in directing what would become his most famous film; Pulp Fiction, and needed funding for it. Directing went to Tony Scott, and the end result is an excellent crime movie that proves even Tarantino’s best scripts can work just as well with another director at the helm. Christian Slater plays Clarence Worley, a young movie geek who has BIG trouble talking to women. However, one night whilst at the “Sonny Chiba Triple Feature” at his local cinema, he comes across Alabama (Patricia Arquette), a young beautiful woman who seems to take in instant shine to him. Turns out Alabama is actually a prostitute who has been hired by Clarence’s boss to “give him a good time”, but in truth Alabama has actually fallen for Clarence. Then, in a complication with Alabama’s pimp (a hilarious Gary Oldman), the couple end up accidentally running off with millions of dollars worth of the pimp’s drugs. True Romance is a very autobiographical movie, even Tarantino himself has admitted this. Clarence is Tarantino, and the movie almost seems like some sort of escapism that Tarantino had built up for himself. Regardless though, it’s a brilliant crime caper. Admittedly, the script went through quite a lot of changes; the original script had a very non-linear structure, ala Pulp Fiction. But what remains is still very Tarantino. Constant pop culture references, the odd burst of stylish action sequences, long but enthralling dialogue sequences, and some hilarious characters (the best is a cameo from Brad Pitt as a stoner).

14. Ghost Dog: the Way of the Samurai (1999) dir. Jim Jarmusch

Forest Whitaker is one of my favorite actors. He’s amazing. His most famous films, however, are Last King of Scotland and Panic Room. These are the films most people think of when they think of Whitaker. His best film; Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai most people haven’t even heard of. Ghost Dog tells the story of a hitman who goes by the name of…well…Ghost Dog (Whitaker). Ghost Dog kills people for the Mafia by following the strict code of the Japanese Samurai of old. He lives on his own, with nothing but pigeons as company. But when the daughter of a Mafia boss witnesses one of his kills, he becomes instantly expendable. The first to die are his pigeons, and so Ghost Dog goes full force at his attackers with brutal revenge. All the while though he is still following the Samurai code, which means he can never harm his Master, even though his Master is the one who had orchestrated the whole thing. It’s a brilliant little crime movie, with an outstanding central performance by Whitaker. He is seriously badass in this role, with a stand out scene being an all out assault on an entire mansion of rival hitmen.

15. The Blair Witch Project (1999) dir. Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez

Quite possibly the most split movie of all time. What I mean by that is that people either love The Blair Witch Project, or they hate it. Your perception of the film depends entirely on your perception of horror in general and what you find scary. If you prefer a psycho with a machete chasing someone through a dark alleyway, then you will hate this film. Not a single jump scare in sight, the film is made up entirely of dread, silence and atmosphere. With its incredibly low budget ($15,000) it relied on nothing else but its on location set – miles up on miles of dark atmospheric woods. I myself regard it as the scariest film of all time, simply because this is the kind of horror that effects me the most. It’s the perfect example of a movie implying that what we can’t see is much scarier than what we can see. It forces us to use our imagination. That is the key word where this movie is concerned: imagination. Basically, if you have no imagination, there’s no point in watching it. It’s also worth noting that Blair Witch Project is the first ever “found footage” film to hit the mainstream. And then there’s the marketing. Quite simply put, Blair Witch Project had the most genius viral marketing scheme of any movie ever made. The fact is that people (albeit very few) actually BELIEVED that this footage was real. People began phoning the police telling them they think they’ve spotted the “missing students”. There is the genius in this film’s design. Regardless of what you think about the final product, it succeeded in EVERYTHING that it set out to achieve. The final scene is almost unbearable, you will find yourself screaming “WHERE ARE YOU GOING, DON’T GO DOWN THERE, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?!?!!”

16. The Three Burials of Melquiadez Estrada (2005) dir. Tommy Lee Jones

A border patrolman, Mike Norton (Barry Pepper) accidentally shoots and kills a Mexican man. This man worked for ranch hand Pete Perkins, and he was also his best friend. Furious at what Norton has done, Perkins kidnaps him and with the Mexican man’s body in tow, they make a dangerous journey into Mexico to bury the body in his home town. Tommy Lee Jones’ directorial debut is a stunning achievement. It’s a tragic, warm, and surprisingly humorous tale that sticks with you long after you have watched it. It also didn’t win a single Oscar. Ridiculous. How this film didn’t even get a fucking nomination for Best Director is beyond my comprehension. Tommy Lee Jones directs the movie is incredible care and attention to detail. The performances are sublime; you really want to hate Pepper throughout the whole film, but can’t help feeling slightly sorry for him. And as for Jones, his performance is just heart breaking. Three Burials is the kind of movie that really makes you think about subjects like racism, morality and loss..but it is never preachy.

17. Starship Troopers (1997) dir. Paul Verhoeven

Paul Verhoeven is one of my favorite directors. He hasn’t made anything of great note for quite a while. In fact, Starship Troopers was probably the last great movie he made. His movies all have a specific feel to them, and all seem to be stapled in some sort of social commentary. His most famous films are Total Recall and Robocop. But the film I always feel is criminally overlooked is Starship Troopers. It is an incredibly entertaining sci-fi film with big action sequences and awesome special effects. All the usuals are here as well; the sexual tension between the two leads, a fictional news station to add to the satirical tone. Verhoeven was famously kicked out of Hollywood after his dreadful erotic thriller Showgirls. He did direct two more American films after though, this one, and Hollow Man. Hollow Man is also a good movie, but many of the conventions that have made Verhoeven so famous were missing, apart from the violence and nudity. Starship Troopers is a brilliant film that combines exciting action with thought provoking satire.

18. Avatar (2009) dir. James Cameron

I know what you’re thinking: “How can a movie that made almost 4 billion dollars be underrated? You’re an idiot.” And although I do fully understand where you’re coming from, to that I can only say that if other people weren’t idiots, this wouldn’t have been on the list. The hype for James Cameron’s technological marvel was too much for some, resulting in them walking out of the cinema eager to stand defiantly unfazed by the cinematic gift that is Pandora. To support their disappointment, the echo chamber became filled with cries of “Sure, it was pretty, but the script was stupid! Dances With Wolves in Space LOL”. – First off, it was more than just pretty, it was an unprecedented level of world building. Those who want to reduce it into a simple, over-familiar, anti-imperialism story are ignorant of the larger story being told. Avatar isn’t simply a lesson about why we shouldn’t exploit others. It’s not trying to guilt-trip you into feeling badly about driving a car that gets only 18 miles per gallon. It’s purely about transporting you to another world, about submerging you in a style of storytelling that many viewers were too fucking myopic to notice. Avatar is not just a series of pretty pictures; it’s a simulation of an entire alien world. There’s a MUCH larger story to be found (and felt) in every organism on Pandora, and I don’t think enough people appreciate just how difficult it is to make an alternate reality as seamless as Cameron’s. I realize I’m baiting the hook by championing Avatar this strongly, but I do believe that James Cameron’s film is, warts and all, one of the biggest accomplishments the genre of science fiction has ever known. The sheer fact that this opinion isn’t universal is the sole reason why the film is on this list.

19. American Psycho (2000) dir. Mary Harron

Before we being, a quick pop quiz:

1. You write an adaption of one of the most controversial serial killer novels of all time, and not only manage to stay moderately true to the source material but also manage to surpass its quality in a lot of ways…do you win an Oscar? Answer: No.

2. You star in said film and give possibly the greatest performance of your entire career…do you win an Oscar? Answer: No.

3. You direct said film and join a long cue of female directors proving that in most cases female directors are MUCH more capable than male directors…do you win an Oscar? Answer: No.

In fact, if you are any of those people, you don’t even get a fucking nomination. It’s nice to see gratitude isn’t it? The fact that Mary Harron didn’t receive a nomination for her excellent directorial debut is terrible enough, but the snubbing of Christian Bale in his greatest ever performance is just unforgivable. Bale plays Wall Street hotshot Patrick Bateman; a very well to do man who also moonlights as a serial killer who kills random people for no reason. The intensity of the film is mirrored by Bateman’s increasing hatred of the world around him. The film is a brilliant achievement; managing to balance gore horror and hilarious dark comedy perfectly. Each killing scene is hilarious, from Bale running around butt naked brandishing a chainsaw, to attempting to “feed” a stray cat to an ATM machine. But the greatest scene has to be the death of Paul Allen (Jared Leto). Set to the incredible soundtrack of Huey Lewis and the News’ It’s Hip To Be Square, it’s one of the funniest and best acted death scenes of all time. In fact, it’s so fucking good, that I HAVE TO show you it: –

20. Cube (1997) dir. Vincenzo Natali

Cube is the kind of horror film that you rent on those nights where there’s no other movie in the rental store that takes your fancy, or you’ve seen everything else. It’s not something that you’ve readily heard of or are particularly interested in prior to seeing the cover. It’s the kind of film where you think “That cover looks pretty nifty”. However, you rent it, and soon come to realize that this little Saturday night movie is actually a lot more special than you first thought. Cube tells the story of seven strangers, each with their own personality characteristics, who find themselves trapped in cubed rooms. They band together to try and find a way out of the Kafkaesque maze, only to find that some of the rooms contain deadly and ingenious traps that can kill in an instant. Cube has a lot more substance than most big budget Hollywood horror/gore movies. The movie cost a measly $365,000 to make, with the film makers only using one singular set that they simply reconfigured whenever the characters moved into a new room. Director Vincenzo Natali has amazing directorial flare, especially in directing his actors to portray their decaying sanity. He also directed last year’s Splice, which I also thought was very underrated. The main appeal to the film though, it has to be said, are the traps. Jigsaw, eat your fucking heart out, because the traps in Cube beat out anything in the whole Saw film series.

CHEERS FOR READING PART ONE…PART TWO WILL BE UP IN A FEW DAYS…

 

As anybody who knows me knows; I’m a huge martial arts cinema fan. However, movie fight scenes aren’t always about fluid fully choreographed martial arts poetry…sometimes it’s just about punching things very VERY hard. So without further ado, here is a list of my personal top 40 favorite fight scenes. This was originally going to be a top 50 list, but I found 41-50 VERY difficult to compile. So you can consider anything above 40 to be literally every other fight scene in the world. Apart from the Burly Brawl in Matrix Reloaded. Seriously, that sucks…

40. Prince Ashitaka vs. Many people on horseback – Princess Mononoke (1997)

One of my favorite anime movies of all time. A weird Hayao Miyazaki movie about discrimination, warfare, and love. The weirdest thing, however, is the fact that this film is rated PG. Seriously, watch the above fight and tell me it should have been rated PG. Prince Ashitaka’s demon arm goes into overdrive as he takes on various idiots on horseback who think it’s clever to shoot arrows at him. They regret it. A lot.

39. Inigo Montoya vs. The Man in the Black Mask – The Princess Bride (1987)

The 80’s fantasy movie that has everything: action, adventure, romance, comedy, horror…and just a “little bit of kissing”. Sure, I could have gone with the more delightfully praised final “My name is Inigo…” etc fight at the end, but in terms of actual fight choreography, you can’t beat this scene. What’s awesome about it is that you don’t know who to root for. Obviously, Inigo is a brilliantly written character and instantly likable, but the mysterious man in the black mask (who we later find out is Westley – like we didn’t already guess), is so mysterious and generally badass that as an audience we struggle to take sides. A fight that takes us back to the days of Errol Flynn, it’s a nice little fight that reminds us that fight scenes don’t always have to be violent or brutal, they just have to be “fun”.

38 Frank Dux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) vs. Chong Li (Bolo Yeung) – Bloodsport (1988)

“You break my record, now I break you, like I break your friend” snarls Bolo Yeung after flexing his biceps at Van Damme. Yeung is just the perfect villain. He has the face of an evil bastard, with scars to boot. He’s also the sole reason of this fight being in my top 40. Forget the muscles from brussels. The main appeal here is seeing Bolo’s epic charisma. His facial expressions alone merit him a place in this list.

37. Godzilla vs. Zilla – Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

Any fan of the original Japanese Godzilla movies will love this short-lived but awesome fight. In it, the much-loved original Japanese rubber-suit version of Godzilla takes on the CGI-laden version from the horrible American remake. The CGI “Zilla” has lots of speed and a longer tail…but the original Godzilla can shoot laser beams out of his mouth. Guess which one wins.

36. Gino (Steven Seagal) vs. Everyone (bar fight scene) – Out For Justice (1991)

(the fight in this video doesn’t start till about 2:20)

Ahh, the days back when Steven Seagal was still cool. The days when Steven Seagal was slim. The days when he could still actually fight. In his hey day, Seagal was actually quite the badass it has to be said. This fight is the best example of him in his prime. In it, he just enters a bar and fucks everyone up with a snooker ball. Brilliant.

35. James Bond (Daniel Craig) vs. Dude with machete – Casino Royale (2006)

Definitely my favorite James Bond fight, and possibly my favorite Bond film. Bond quickly takes care of his first opponent with a swift kick up the arse, but his next opponent won’t be as easy…he has a machete you see, and he’s swinging it around like a mad fucker. Sure, the fight is a little too close to Bourne Identity territory for comfort, with it’s quick take downs and Krav Maga-style choreography; but then they are both highly trained operatives. Isn’t Bond just a British version of Bourne anyway? What’s the fucking problem? It’s a brilliant fight, with a heap of brutality, something that’s always been lacking in Bond’s hand-to-hand fights.

34. King Kong vs. Vastatosaurus Rexes – King Kong (2005)

Say what you want about Peter Jackson’s (admittedly overlong) King Kong, but this fight scene was simply amazing. Everything added to the overall effect of it. The fantastic score/music, the amazing CGI work (which unfortunately isn’t given much justice in the above video). It’s a real hero’s scene with Kong roaring victorious at the end. Fantastic.

33. Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen) vs. Random hitmen (nude bathhouse fight) – Eastern Promises (2007)

Please note, if you are offended by the site of a penis, do not watch this video:

Yep, this is the scene that everybody who went to see David Cronenberg’s Eastern Promises talked about. It is the sight of a naked Viggo Mortensen taking on two hitmen in a fist fight. But despite the constant shots of Mortensen’s flacid wang, the fight is actually very well choreographed and extremely brutal. Most notable is the excellently executed defensive kick that Viggo does at 1:32 in the above video. Hats off to Mortensen for this, he’s the only actor I can think of who’d gratefully have his tackle dangling on screen whilst committing so much violence.

32. Sing (Stephen Chow) vs. Axe Gang – Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

American film critic Roger Ebert said of Kung Fu Hustle; “Imagine a film in which Jackie Chan and Buster Keaton meet Quentin Tarantino and Bugs Bunny”. He’s very correct. The film is a wacky mix of dancing sequences, slapstick humour and kung fu craziness. Stephen Chow’s main character doesn’t get any shining moments throughout the whole film until this very final moment. The whole fight is actually choreographed by Chow’s close friend and mentor Sammo Hung. It’s a big insane sequence, especially when bodies start flying left and right, and the main villain turns into a human toad. Yep, you read that right.

31. Toby Wong (Mark Dacascos) vs. Enhanced Hitman (Kato Masaya) – Drive (1997)

“We’ll kick his ass and take his coat!” yells Kadeem Harrison. If only it was that easy. Mark Dacascos is one of the most underrated actors in the film industry. Not only is he an exceptional martial artist, he’s also a damn good actor, giving off an awesome physical pressence and emotion through his facial features. This fight is the perfect example of his physical prowess. He spends this whole movie owning ass and not getting hit ONCE, and yet now he fights this guy and he has some serious trouble. They match each other blow for blow, but in the end, Dacascos’ character is much more intelligent.

30. Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) vs. Dream projections (rotating hallway fight) – Inception (2010)

Inception, the masterpiece of 2010, and don’t let anyone ever tell me otherwise. It’s a blockbuster that has successfully achieved what no other blockbuster can even come close to achieving. It’s a “smart” blockbuster. A mindmelting masterpiece that delves into your psyche and asks “Which is better, the world of the dream where you can anything you want? Or the real world where that which you have lost is gone forever?” This fight is a hugely technological triumph. No CGI at all. It was done with a single rotating set and an extremely clever cinematographer.

29 Yoda vs. Darth Sidious – Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Forget the pointless, tacked-on fight with Dooku in Attack of the Clones, this is the real Yoda fight we all wanted to see. The two oldest characters in the Star Wars movies going toe to toe.  Sure, it’s incredibly CGI heavy, but what it lacks in grounded real combat, it makes up for in spades with the emotional heft that comes with finally seeing these two beasts fight. The bit where Sidious just starts chucking podiums at Yoda is just priceless.

28. Achilles (Brad Pitt) vs. Hector (Eric Bana) – Troy (2004)

Simply the greatest spear and shield fight scene ever. Pitt’s charisma oozes through the screen. He’s a wanker, but an incredibly likable wanker, mirrored by Hector’s heroic yet tragic pressence. And by the end of this fight, both roles are left emotional. Fucking emotional.

27. The Bride (Uma Thurman) vs. Gogo Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama) – Kill Bill: Vol 1 (2003)

I’m going to be blunt here; Chiaki Kuriyama + Schoolgirl outfit + Ball and chain = my wet dream. I’m not ashamed of that. Not one bit. This is literally one of the hottest girl fights of all time. There’s also a pretty awesome drinking game to be had here: take a shot every time you see up Chiaki Kuriyama’s skirt.

26. V (Hugo Weaving) vs. The Government – V for Vendetta (2006)

With his knives flying this way and that, the enigmatic anarchist known only as “V” takes on a future British fascist government. The whole film (and the original graphic novel from which it is adapted) is like a “what if” of controversial political parties such as the BNP and UKip. In the final fight scene, V takes on an entire police force and Detective Creedy. He gets shot about 50 times but still manages to survive long enough to kill every man in the underground sewer. Before you start making any “suspension of disbelief” complaints, he was actually wearing a bullet proof vest…and does indeed eventually die. The fight itself it incredibly majestic, with director James McTeigue utilizing the slow motion techniques he learnt from his mentors The Wachowski Brothers.

25. Neo (Keanu Reeves) vs. Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) – The Matrix (1999)

Forget the big spectacular, CGI laden fight from Matrix Revolutions, this is where the magic’s at. Easily the best fight Neo has with Smith, it’s a nice grounded fight with very minimal CGI and wire-work. The opening of the fight is the best bit, very reminiscent of the old western stand off. The shot of Smith pummeling Neo into a wall is a personal favourite.

24. Tommy Lee (Phillip Rhee) vs. Dae Han (Simon Rhee) – Best of the Best (1989)

One of many martial arts guilty pleasures. Admittedly, the rest of the fights in the movie are pretty ho hum. Of the main cast (including Eric Roberts and Chris Penn), the only one with an actual martial arts background is the film’s writer and producer Phillip Rhee. In the big finale of the movie’s tournament, Rhee’s character Tommy takes on “the most feared Korean man EVAAR” Dae Han (played by Rhee’s real life brother Simon Rhee). It’s the fact that these two are brothers that makes the fight so enjoyable. They are both incredibly skilled martial artists, but watching the fight it’s clear that they required very little choreography. For a start, Rhee choreographed all the fights in the film himself, so this fight was just pretty much made up as they went along. It’s a stunning display or grounded hard hitting karate combat, with some spectacular aerial brilliance thrown in the mix. A personal favourite of mine is the evasion into a kick to the crotch in the above video.

23. Jackie Chan vs. Jet Li – The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

It’s the fight that all martial arts cinema fans were waiting for. Wushu master Jet Li versus everything master Jackie Chan. Granted, it is a ridiculous notion…Chan would annihilate Li in a real fight (commence shitstorm). However, it’s still an fantastic grounded and aerial display. Almost every single Chinese fighting style is here; wushu, tiger-style, praying mantis, shadow boxing, drunken boxing…it’s all here. I fucking love the bit where Chan starts fighting with his alcohol flask!

22. Donnie Yen vs Collin Chou – Flashpoint (2007)

Director Wilson Yip is proving himself to be a powerhouse in Hong Kong martial arts cinema. With Flashpoint, SPL, and the Ip Man movies under his belt, his collaborations with Donnie Yen are fast becoming the films of choice amongst martial arts aficionados. The final fight in Flashpoint is one of the best mixed martial arts fights in film. Yen takes down his opponent with some mean fucking grapples as Chou (you may remember him playing Seraph in the Matrix sequels) commits to his signature wushu styles. On a side note, Donnie Yen…he’s just fucking awesome isn’t he? I mean, this guy has a serious passion for all forms of martial arts. The whole grappling thing is a western style derived from wrestling and he even respects that enough to put it in his movies. He truly is the new Bruce Lee in terms of his unmatchable passion. Unlike people like Jet Li making bullshit claims like “This is my final wuxia movie” – We’ve all seen Warlords, Fobidden Kingdom and The Flying Swords of Dragon Gate Mr Li!!

21. Tony Jaa on fire vs. Anyone within 30 feet of him – Ong Bak (2003)

Tony Jaa is one crazy bastard. His breakthrough film Ong Bak is still his best. The way the movie builds up (hardly anything happens for around 30 minutes) to the first fight scene is spectacular. But the real meat on the bone here are the madfuck stunts that Jaa performs throughout the movie. The center piece chase sequence is simply astounding, but it’s not necessarily a fight scene per se. My favourite fight in the movie is definitely this sequence. With his legs filled with lighter fluid and outnumbered, Jaa takes on the option of setting his own legs on fire and knee-kicking everyone in the face/chest/crotch/back etc.

20. Donnie Yen vs. Sammo Hung – Saat Po Long/SPL/Kill Zone (2005)

Seriously, look at the fucking size of Sammo Hung. Also, think about his age (almost 60). Just look at the motherfucker move! At the time of filming this movie Donnie Yen was at his physical prime in both age and ability, and yet Sammo successfully matches him blow for blow kick for kick. The guy is simply amazing. The fight is almost like a dream sequence. Like watching a martial arts master at their physical peak fight Mr Blobby. The fight really reaches epic status when they just start throwing each other into fucking desks, tables, bottles, bars, walls anything they can fucking see. It’s just fucking madness. The sequence was choreographed by Donnie Yen himself (he usually hires Sammo as choreographer), and the sheer determination to not let his mentor Sammo down in terms of sheer fighting scope really shows.

19. Takeshi Kaneshiro vs. Andy Lau – The House of Flying Daggers (2004)

Donnie Yen may be my current favourite martial artist, Andy Lau is completely unbeatable in the acting department. Zhang Yimou’s House of Flying Daggers is a much better film than his Jet Li starrer Hero. Sure, Hero has some gorgeous painting-like visuals, but so does Flying Daggers. Plus, it’s never boring…which definitely gives it the edge over Hero. The whole movie builds up to this final fight, two once great friends fighting over a woman. It’s a classic set up. And the fight is fucking brutal. By the end of it, they’re ripping the shit out of each other with their swords.

18. Jason Bourne vs. Desh – The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

Video: http://vimeo.com/15724139

Definitely the best fight in the Bourne trilogy. Incorporating several different fighting styles seamlessly mixed together including Israeli Krav Maga, Filipino Kali and Brazilian Capoeira. Paul Greengrass’ signature shaky-cam style works brilliantly on this fight, putting the viewer straight into each punch and kick. The best part of the fight is after Bourne has dispatched Desh…when he just looks up at Julia Stiles, stares into her eyes blankly, his face shaking. In any other spy movie (James Bond for instance), this would have been the perfect chance for some comedic quip, after all he has just killed his opponent with a hand towel…but in a Jason Bourne movie there are no words, they don’t need words, Bourne has just killed a man and that’s the end of it. It’s a sublime piece of actor directing.

17. Jet Li vs. Donnie Yen – Hero (2002)

The very first fight scene in Zhang Yimou’s Hero is one of magical wonder. It’s like a dream world. Jet Li soars through the air to reach his opponent Donnie Yen. As they fight a Chinese man plays a strange instrument in the background. It’s the kind of fight that you loose yourself in and start to act like your being read a story, rather than watching a story unfold on screen. The only downer in this scene is the laughable notion of Jet Li winning a fight with Donnie Yen. Still, they way he does win is stunning. Shooting through the air spinning his blade, falling water splashing on his face, it’s the stuff of wonders.

16. The Bride (Uma Thurman) vs. Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah) – Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2004)

Easily the best fight scene in the Kill Bill movies. Grapples, flying kicks, sword fighting, throw downs, it’s all here. It’s also just fucking brutal. My personal favourite part of the fight is the epic showdown segment at 4:35 in the above video. In these shots, Tarantino’s love of the western genre pours through the screen.

15. Mani (Mark Dacascos) vs. Random thugs – Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)

One of my favourite films of all time. Brotherhood of the Wolf is the best film from one of France’s most elusive directors/writers Christophe Gans (director of Crying Freeman and the Silent Hill movie). The brilliance in the movie is how it fuses together genres that you would never imagine to see together. It’s a ye olde period piece that features a demonic wolf, martial arts, eroticism and romance. The whole film just oozes originality and it just so happens to star a certain Mark Dacascos as a kung fu expert Indian. The opening fight in the movie is amazingly shot. Rain soaked fields serve as the backdrop to Dacascos kicking some serious fucking ass. Brilliant slow motion shots, staff fighting…it’s superb. Special note has to go as well to the costumes that Dacascos and his co-star Samuel Le Bihan are wearing.

14. Jackie Chan vs. Teenager – New Police Story (2004)

Only Jackie Chan would think of filming a massive kung fu battle in a fucking Lego toy store. Only Jackie Chan. In the latest Police Story movie (incidentally no relation to the original series), Jackie spends majority of the movie drunk and out of his mind. He also gets totally owned in a fight with a load of teenagers. Then, when he finally gets his shit together, he decides to have another go at one of those teenagers. They meet in a Lego store and the kicks and punches begin. What’s amazing about this fight is that Jackie was around 50 years old at the time of filming it and yet he moves just as fast (possibly even faster) than his opponent who is about half is age.

13. Mr Miyagi (Pat Morita) vs. Everyone – The Karate Kid Trilogy (1984, 1986, 1989)

As a massive Karate Kid fan, it’s literally impossible to choose my favourite Mr Miyagi fight scene. So the video above is just a montage of the main fights from all three movies, one after the other. If you put me on the spot to choose one, it would probably be the fight from the third movie. Why you ask? Simple; just fucking look at that back kick that Miyagi does at 2:42 against Sensei Kreese. That’s amazing. Pat Morita was around 57 years old when he filmed that scene, but he looked a lot older to be fair. And yet he did all that shit himself. What most people don’t know as well is that Pat Morita has no martial arts background outside of the Karate Kid series. How he was able to pull off some of these moves I’ll never know. A simply amazing man.

12. Bruce Lee vs. Kareem Abdul Jabar – Game of Death (1978)

In Bruce Lee’s final film Game of Death, he enters a dark room after finishing off a group of badguys. He sees before him a incredibly tall, incredibly skinny man, twice his size. Any average person who turn the other way, but this is Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee is no average person. He simply licks his thumb and readies a battle position. And what does his opponent Kareem Abdul Jabar do? Well…he sits down. As Bruce attempts to rush his larger than life opponent, he is kicked to the ground each time. Possibly the most famous Bruce Lee fight scene is from a film that he is hardly in because he sadly died half way through filming. Most of the rest of the film (including the fights) are filled in by digital restoration and stunt doubles. However, this particular fight is all Bruce. In fact, Bruce himself actually directed the scene (with some uncredited help from Sammo Hung). This fight is all about what Bruce (and his fighting style Jeet Kun Do) was best at…adapting. Lee is forced to adapt to his opponent’s size and use his intellect to take his opponent down. Sylvester Stallone recently paid homage to the fight in his movie The Expendables during a fight between Jet Li and larger than life Dolph Lundgren.

11. Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Maul – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Definitely the best fight throughout all six Star Wars movies (yes, even the original trilogy). Admittedly it’s the only good scene in Phantom Menace, but hey…that’s one more than Attack of the Clones. George Lucas’ samurai/anime/Japanese culture influenced really shine through here: the swords, the martial arts prowess of actor Ray Park (Darth Maul), the apprentice avenging his master’s death, the robes. People have always debated how powerful Darth Maul actually is in comparison to the characters he didn’t get to fight (Yoda, Mace Windu etc), but one thing’s for sure…it was a massive mistake to kill him off. Why do I say this? I say it because it would have made Attack of the Clones a good movie if Maul was in it. Count Dooku was shit. It would have been much better to keep Maul alive through the second movie. The ending could have been changed so that Obi Wan Kenobi takes on and kills Darth Maul while Anakin takes on Dooku. Forget Yoda showing up for the pointless fight with Dooku, save it for the MUCH better fight with the Emperor. Alas, George Lucas can’t write for shit.

10. Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris – Way of the Dragon (1972)

The fight that everyone talks about. The best thing about Way of the Dragon is that it shows Bruce Lee’s incredible talents as a director. This scene is the best example. What I love about this scene is the cat in the background. What does that mean? Lee has put it there for a reason. Regardless, this is another of Lee’s fights where he has been forced to adapt to his opponent. Lee’s Jeet Kun Do has real trouble matching Norris’ furious Karate style. He adapts though, and beats his ass in spectacular style. My personal favourite moment is when he grabs Norris’ hairy chest and rips a handful of hairs out!

9. Neo vs. Morpheus – The Matrix (1999)

Definitely the best fight throughout the Matrix movies. It’s the classic mentor versus student set up. In terms of choreography, the fight is simply flawless. Yuen Wo Ping is a sheer genius, nobody could ever doubt that, but in the Matrix movies he really shows his incredible talents. With these movies, he had to practically invent an entirely new fighting style, working around The Wachowski Brothers’ inventive “bullet time” techniques. Also the fight has an awesome shift in balance. Starting off as just “fun”, Neo rushes his mentor recklessly only to get totally owned each time. But pretty soon the mood changes as Neo starts to get somewhat frustrated in his determination to prove to his mentor.

8. Tony Jaa vs. An entire brothel (continuous fight) – Tom Yum Goong/Warrior King/The Protector (2005)

This scene is simply directing genius. All shot in one continuous sequence with no cuts, it is one of the greatest martial arts set pieces of all time. First of all note the fucking body count, cos I get 32. Fucking 32! In four minutes! With just his fists and feet! Tony Jaa is just a beast. One of the best things about this fight is just how effortless the whole thing seems. The amount of work that went into choreographing it must have been fucking insane and yet it all seems effortlessly flawless. Also take note of how by the end of the fight, Jaa has spooled his way through 30-odd people and yet he’s barely breaking a sweat, in fact he looks ready to take on 30 more!

7. Spike vs Vincent – Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2001)

My favourite anime fight scene of all time. It’s a proper, real, grounded, brutal, Krav Maga-style fist fight. It’s just fucking epic. You just don’t get this level of choreography in anime all the time. You feel every hit, and the brilliant background music lends itself to its enjoyability. Perfect.

6. Jackie Chan vs. Benny “The Jet” Urquidez – Wheels on Meals (1984)

Jackie Chan’s best fight is with possibly the greatest non-Asian martial artist on the planet, Benny “The Jet” Urquidez. Benny The Jet is a real fucking bastard of a man. A relentless powerhouse for pure force and unfathomable speed. He’s so fucking crazy that one of his spinning heal kicks in this fight manages to put out a row of lit candles just by sheer force alone (happens at around 1:20). No trickery at all. But he’s still fighting Jackie Chan. And the fight is anything but one sided. Both these bastards are at their physical peak in this fight. They endure so much pain on each other and yet try their best to hide it. Chan fought Benny The Jet once again in the movie Dragons Forever (see that fight here). That fight is also awesome, but the original is always the best.

5. Li Mu Bai (Chow-Yun Fat) vs. Jen (Zhang Ziyi) – Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Unfortunately the above video features the horrible English dub, but unfortunately it’s the only video I could find. Regardless, this is still the most majestic fight scene of all time. It’s less like a fight scene and more like visual poetry. Many other Chinese directors have tried to imitate it, but there’s only one. Li Mu Bai (Chow-Yun  Fat) takes on the thief of his Green Destiny sword (Zhang Ziyi) in Ang Lee’s wuxia masterpiece. It’s notable that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is the first ever foreign film to reach the $100million mark in the US. It’s a traditional story about love and betrayal. This bamboo fight is just stunning, like a painting in motion. Li Mu Bai and Jen zip through the bamboo with infinite grace. At this point in the film, Jen has already stolen Li Mu Bai’s sword countless times, and yet he still just wants to “train” and “help” her. Personally, I think he should have stabbed the bitch in the face, but that’s not what this film is about. It’s about a young girl who has lost her way mentally, and the master who wants to help her. Chow-Yun Fat’s role was originally to be filled by none other than Jet Li, but he dropped out to make the *okay* Hollywood movie Romeo Must Die…literally the biggest mistake of his career.

4. Sonny Chiba vs. Half the population of Japan – The Street Fighter (1974)

Presenting Sonny Chiba: Japan’s answer to Bruce Lee. Using a very snake-like form of Karate, Chiba was the subject of many a debate during the 70s and 80s. Mostly they consisted of people saying “Bruce is better than Sonny” or “Sonny is better than Bruce”. To be honest, myself, I can’t choose. They’re both equal. I think Chiba definitely has more charisma though. His acting is just weird that you can’t look away. Also, he is fucking badass. Like seriously badass. The difference between Sonny and Lee is that Bruce Lee always played a straight laced good guy, a do-gooder who only used his fist when he really had to. Chiba on the other hand never played a straight good guy per se. His signature character Terry Tsurugi (from the Street Fighter series) was just a guy who gets paid to fuck guys up. He’s a mercenary. Hell, there’s even a scene where one of his female employers refuses to pay him so he kicks the fuck out of her. This final fight is 70s Grindhouse brilliance. The whole way it’s edited, the lighting, the cinematography, the EPIC music that kicks in at 8:00, the hilariously abrupt “ending” (seriously, you HAVE TO see how he kills the main villain)…fucking perfect.

3. Bruce Lee vs. O’Hara – Enter the Dragon (1973)

Shocked? Why have I gone for this fight as my favourite Bruce Lee fight? There’s so many others to choose from. Well fuck you, this is his best fight. I don’t care if it’s an American production, I don’t care if it’s his most mainstream movie….this fight is fucking awesome. Bruce’s secret agent character finally gets revenge on the guy who killed his sister. O’Hara makes the fatal mistake of showing off at the beginning of the fight by punching a wooden board. Bruce just stares at him blankly and says “Boards…don’t hit back”. And so begins the ultimate ass kicking. O’Hara doesn’t get a single successful hit in. You could say “Well there’s no tension cos Bruce just kicks his ass”, but this fight isn’t about tension, it’s about satisfaction. We’ve seen this guy kill Bruce’s sister in cold blood and now he’s getting his comeuppance. The real reason I love this fight above all others though is the ending, Bruce’s signature move; jumping into the air and landing on his opponent’s face – and the emotion in Bruce’s face that follows. People often argue who is stronger Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan or Jet Li. The truth is…it’s Bruce. Because the simple fact is that nobody can beat Bruce Lee. Not even Chuck Norris. Hell, not even Superman would be able to beat Bruce Lee. If Superman flew at him, Bruce would just jump up into the air shout “WATTAAAAAA!” and Superman would fall down.

2. Martin Blank (John Cusack) vs. Felix La Pu Belle (Benny “The Jet” Urquidez) – Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)

Is it any surprise that my second favourite movie of all time also features my second favourite fight scene of all time. It’s another Benny The Jet fight, but this time he fights John Cusack. Yes, that’s right. John Cusack is a badass. It’s a misconception that Cusack is only known for his romantic comedies and lighthearted everyman performances. After all, that’s why he’s such a fantastic actor…he could literally be anybody. But in truth, and in real life, he is actually a semi-professional kickboxer. One with some serious fucking skills. He has been trained by Benny The Jet himself for years, and Grosse Pointe Blank was the first time he really got to use his skills. Grosse Pointe Blank tells the story of hitman Martin Blank (Cusack) who decides to visit his highschool reunion when he finds out his latest “job” is there. However, he is followed by rival hitmen (Dan Ackroyd and Benny The Jet) who either want him to join a “hitmen union” or die. The film is piss funny. Fucking piss funny. Written by Cusack himself, it oozes his trademark witty style dialogue. The center piece of the movie however is this fight scene. Utterly realistic and grounded, the whole scene is just blistering in it’s execution. It really does lend itself to the soundtrack though, with “Mirror in the Bathroom” by English Beat set as it’s background, it’s fucking brilliant. The best bit in the fight for me is the perfectly executed side-kick by Cusack at 1:00. That is the single best kick I’ve ever seen in a film. Ever. And did I mention it’s John fucking Cusack? Yeah, I know.

And so, 39 fight scenes later and after 5323 words, I finally come to my number one fight scene of all time…….

1. Donnie Yen vs. Jing Wu – Saat Po Loong/SPL/Kill Zone (2005)

No real surprise here. Donnie Yen is my favourite martial artist so naturally my favourite fight scene of all time features him on top form. SPL (known as Kill Zone in the US and UK) is one of the best martial arts crime films in the past 20 years. It’s that good. The weird thing about the movie is that there are but two big fights in the film; the one I mentioned before with Sammo Hung, and this one. Both are awesome fights, but the fight with Jing Wu is so blisteringly fast, so gloriously violent, so fucking epicly motherfucking dick harding awesome that it was always destined to number one status. The most notable thing you should know about this fight is that it was not pre-choreographed. Both fighters were just told to “go at it” by director Wilson Yip. The result is a real killer on the senses. Jing Wu is a crazy motherfucker who just swings his arms around like a fucking lion, whereas Donnie Yen wields his baton with snake-like movements. The camera follows it beautifully, swinging around like the cameraman is wielding it in the same way the actors are wielding their respective weapons. And with the strange ambiance music in the background, the fight is incredibly hypnotic. Yep, definitely the best fight scene of all time from Hong Kong’s current best martial artist/choreographer.

So there you have it. My final list of my top 40 fight scenes. Hope you enjoyed reading this beast because it took me a long time to write it. Feel free to add your own favourite fights in the comments below and don’t forget to subscribe!!

— Tom